Warning: if you're sick of me ranting on about sleep, saying the same sort of things over and over, don't read on!!
So, reading the info on kellymom.com - haven't followed the links of her research to verify their validity, but it is interesting to read her point of view on a few things.
Like, increasing solids and/or adding formula at night do not improve sleep, and as they are harder to digest, they could actually make it harder for baby to sleep at first, increasing night wakings (matches my experience!). She suggests minimising the night-time food until baby's digestive system matures and he is used to eating more in the day.
Also, she suggests that our view of baby sleep is wrong and that it is actually normal and GOOD for baby to wake. Reduces problems like SIDS. (I read similar info on the Dr Sears website, I believe, relating to co-sleeping and how this causes baby to not sleep as deeply and stir more frequently, but how this can be beneficial.)
She has links to the Dr Sears website that talks about some strategies for night weaning that you can use when baby is about 18 months or older! As compared to most info I've found that only talks about baby's needs and habits up to around 6 months, if they mention a timeframe.
Dr Sears says that night feedings are normal, whereas frequent night wakings are not. Compare this to the midwife's advice to 'be strong' and NOT feed at night as a solution to stop night wakings (may or may not be linked).
He also says that some babies are just not self-soothers. They are people babies. They want people, not things, such as pacifiers, lovies, and need parental influence to help them learn to relax.
She also reminded me that babies often don't sleep so well just before or after a milestone 'such as crawling or walking'. Cooper is trying SO hard to crawl. Maybe this, in combination with me increasing solids dramatically, helps explain the sudden increase?
Tuesday, 31 January 2012
Sleep Progress (or lack thereof)
Well, I have been so good about feeding Cooper. (Gee, that sounds dodgy!! What, lady, you want a pat on the back for giving your son food?!?) He has been having 2 meals and a snack or 3 meals every day. And his sleep? Well, it's worse than ever!! We're up to 4 or 5 wakings per night!!!
Yesterday I took him to a maternal health nurse. I was sure he was fine, but just wanted to make sure that the crazy wakefulness wasn't due to some health issue. She wasn't particularly helpful. She said he seemed perfectly healthy, and gave me some strategies for dealing with the sleep.
First strategy: 'feed him more'. She said at his age he should definitely be having 3 full meals per day. (How long ago was it that you weren't to start your baby on solids before 6 months? Now by 7 they need to be eating like an adult, with just 3 breastfeeds per day?) She suggested pasta etc at night to try to fill him up more before bed.
- Hmm, well, I've been feeding him almost 3 meals a day, and the first time I tried thick stodgy porridge before bed he was up 5 times that night, one of them for 2 hours. But, ok, I'll keep trying.
Second strategy: 'don't let him associate breastfeeding with sleep - never feed to sleep, and when he wakes at night, don't feed him back to sleep'. She said that, yes, I'd have a few bad nights, but he'd get the hang of it really quickly.
- Ummm, a few bad nights? What do you call what I'm already having, lady?? I don't know how much worse I can handle! I mentioned that I tried rocking him back to sleep without a feed - I was successful one time, but he was up again 20 min later, so I just fed him then. 'Ah, see, you need to be consistent.'
That, and a comment to Cooper about having 'mum wrapped around your little finger' made me feel like a terrible mum who just gives in to bubs whenever because it's easier. I questioned myself, am I just a big softie? Do I give in too easily? Perhaps I do at times, but seriously, when you're rarely getting more than 1.5 hrs sleep at a time, even if he settles after 'just' 20 or 30 min without a feed.... 20 min feels like eternity when you're wrestling with a screaming, thrashing, 10kg baby and you're so tired you have trouble keeping upright anyway. And to know that without a feed, he's likely to be up again before you're even back asleep. Seriously... I just don't think I can do it!! So I give in. Even if that makes me a bad mum.
Towards the end, though, she said "I know it's tough. My daughter was like Cooper." "Oh right, so what did you do?" I asked.
"Um, oh, well, I just kept feeding her back to sleep!"
Right, so there's the textbook answer of what we should do, and there's the human response of what is actually realistic.
So, I'll keep going with my little strategies... trying to do as much as I can, but in the end, just doing what works for the moment.
Oh, for the record, she suggested his sleeplessness could be due to a combination of factors such as teething, separation anxiety and high intelligence... apparently smart babies often don't sleep so well. I'm going with that - the problem is just because Cooper is a fricken genious. That makes me feel better about it all! ;D
Yesterday I took him to a maternal health nurse. I was sure he was fine, but just wanted to make sure that the crazy wakefulness wasn't due to some health issue. She wasn't particularly helpful. She said he seemed perfectly healthy, and gave me some strategies for dealing with the sleep.
First strategy: 'feed him more'. She said at his age he should definitely be having 3 full meals per day. (How long ago was it that you weren't to start your baby on solids before 6 months? Now by 7 they need to be eating like an adult, with just 3 breastfeeds per day?) She suggested pasta etc at night to try to fill him up more before bed.
- Hmm, well, I've been feeding him almost 3 meals a day, and the first time I tried thick stodgy porridge before bed he was up 5 times that night, one of them for 2 hours. But, ok, I'll keep trying.
Second strategy: 'don't let him associate breastfeeding with sleep - never feed to sleep, and when he wakes at night, don't feed him back to sleep'. She said that, yes, I'd have a few bad nights, but he'd get the hang of it really quickly.
- Ummm, a few bad nights? What do you call what I'm already having, lady?? I don't know how much worse I can handle! I mentioned that I tried rocking him back to sleep without a feed - I was successful one time, but he was up again 20 min later, so I just fed him then. 'Ah, see, you need to be consistent.'
That, and a comment to Cooper about having 'mum wrapped around your little finger' made me feel like a terrible mum who just gives in to bubs whenever because it's easier. I questioned myself, am I just a big softie? Do I give in too easily? Perhaps I do at times, but seriously, when you're rarely getting more than 1.5 hrs sleep at a time, even if he settles after 'just' 20 or 30 min without a feed.... 20 min feels like eternity when you're wrestling with a screaming, thrashing, 10kg baby and you're so tired you have trouble keeping upright anyway. And to know that without a feed, he's likely to be up again before you're even back asleep. Seriously... I just don't think I can do it!! So I give in. Even if that makes me a bad mum.
Towards the end, though, she said "I know it's tough. My daughter was like Cooper." "Oh right, so what did you do?" I asked.
"Um, oh, well, I just kept feeding her back to sleep!"
Right, so there's the textbook answer of what we should do, and there's the human response of what is actually realistic.
So, I'll keep going with my little strategies... trying to do as much as I can, but in the end, just doing what works for the moment.
Oh, for the record, she suggested his sleeplessness could be due to a combination of factors such as teething, separation anxiety and high intelligence... apparently smart babies often don't sleep so well. I'm going with that - the problem is just because Cooper is a fricken genious. That makes me feel better about it all! ;D
Saturday, 21 January 2012
Becoming Deliberate
I've never been big on making babies fit a schedule. Routine, yes (ie following similar patterns), but schedule, no. My reason for this is twofold:
1) I am not a time-conscious person. For me to try to feed / bath / put baby to bed at a particular time each day would be a mammoth undertaking, near impossible. I generally do not have any idea on how much time has passed since I last looked at the clock. Strict schedules are extremely difficult for me, causing lots of stress, which I think would make me a less loving and enjoyable mother to Cooper.
2) I don't know that Cooper needs it. I know for myself, my sleeping and eating routines change depending on my body's needs at the time. I never had a problem with weight before I got married, as I ate when I was hungry - be it two meals a day or five. And depending on my life stresses, my sleep needs vary too. So it makes sense to me that Cooper may want different schedules at different times, as he undergoes growth spurts and mental leaps.
I love the saying: "Don't worry about societal expectations - if it's not a problem for you or baby, then it's not a problem."
So the fact that, at 4 months, Cooper suddenly started waking repeatedly during the night was only a problem if it was a problem for me. I could stress and fuss over the fact that he "should" be sleeping through and in his own bed, or I could go with it, feed as neccessary, resettle as required, and bring him back into our bed when it was easier. I chose to just go with it, figuring he would grow out of it when he was ready, just as he grew out of needing to be in our bed all the time.
Being 2 days off 7 months, Cooper is still waking at least twice per night. (A night being 8.5 to 9 hrs - ie on the unfortunate days when sleeps are interrupted and don't happen when I'd like, and he goes to bed at 8:30pm, his night ends by 5:30am, at which time he requires a play of at least an hour.) According to society, this is a problem.
According to me, it is starting to become a problem too. After 3 months of grossly interrupted sleep, I'm over it, to say the least. I'm tired. So tired. I'm starting to think that it is time to try to be more deliberate in "training" him, rather than following his cues with just minor interventions.
But boy, oh boy, it is confusing. There are so many different schools of thought - an expert to both back up and slam any action you may consider.
The thing I'm gonna start with is food. I'm going with the theory that because he is a bigger boy, he is needing more, hence the increased wakefulness since 4 months, when perhaps the milk supply was not quite doing the trick (read different theories about breast capacity, baby stomach capacity, rah rah).
Plan: increase solid meals to at least 2 per day, with water. Try to space out day time breast feeds with water in between - he is chubby enough to indicate that he is getting plenty of nutrition, and solids will help with that... maybe the insane frequency of feeding is more about thirst. After a while, try to offer water and cuddles at night wakings if he wakes less than 3 hrs after the last feed... increasing this time gradually to hopefully achieve 4 hrs between feeds.
If it doesn't work, I may try something else, or I may just learn to take daytime naps myself and hope that he grows out of it sooner rather than later!
1) I am not a time-conscious person. For me to try to feed / bath / put baby to bed at a particular time each day would be a mammoth undertaking, near impossible. I generally do not have any idea on how much time has passed since I last looked at the clock. Strict schedules are extremely difficult for me, causing lots of stress, which I think would make me a less loving and enjoyable mother to Cooper.
2) I don't know that Cooper needs it. I know for myself, my sleeping and eating routines change depending on my body's needs at the time. I never had a problem with weight before I got married, as I ate when I was hungry - be it two meals a day or five. And depending on my life stresses, my sleep needs vary too. So it makes sense to me that Cooper may want different schedules at different times, as he undergoes growth spurts and mental leaps.
I love the saying: "Don't worry about societal expectations - if it's not a problem for you or baby, then it's not a problem."
So the fact that, at 4 months, Cooper suddenly started waking repeatedly during the night was only a problem if it was a problem for me. I could stress and fuss over the fact that he "should" be sleeping through and in his own bed, or I could go with it, feed as neccessary, resettle as required, and bring him back into our bed when it was easier. I chose to just go with it, figuring he would grow out of it when he was ready, just as he grew out of needing to be in our bed all the time.
Being 2 days off 7 months, Cooper is still waking at least twice per night. (A night being 8.5 to 9 hrs - ie on the unfortunate days when sleeps are interrupted and don't happen when I'd like, and he goes to bed at 8:30pm, his night ends by 5:30am, at which time he requires a play of at least an hour.) According to society, this is a problem.
According to me, it is starting to become a problem too. After 3 months of grossly interrupted sleep, I'm over it, to say the least. I'm tired. So tired. I'm starting to think that it is time to try to be more deliberate in "training" him, rather than following his cues with just minor interventions.
But boy, oh boy, it is confusing. There are so many different schools of thought - an expert to both back up and slam any action you may consider.
The thing I'm gonna start with is food. I'm going with the theory that because he is a bigger boy, he is needing more, hence the increased wakefulness since 4 months, when perhaps the milk supply was not quite doing the trick (read different theories about breast capacity, baby stomach capacity, rah rah).
Plan: increase solid meals to at least 2 per day, with water. Try to space out day time breast feeds with water in between - he is chubby enough to indicate that he is getting plenty of nutrition, and solids will help with that... maybe the insane frequency of feeding is more about thirst. After a while, try to offer water and cuddles at night wakings if he wakes less than 3 hrs after the last feed... increasing this time gradually to hopefully achieve 4 hrs between feeds.
If it doesn't work, I may try something else, or I may just learn to take daytime naps myself and hope that he grows out of it sooner rather than later!
Thursday, 12 January 2012
Cute things he does...
Cooper likes to mop the floor. He lies on his tummy, slobbers all over a patch, then carefully moves over a smidgen and gets that patch. He keeps going in a sideways line, leaving a snail trail beside him. Kinda gross, I know, but he looks so cute doing it!
Cooper is fascinated with fingers. He loves Twinkle Twinkle and 5 Little Ducks, and sooks when I get to the end of the song. Songs such as Dingle Dangle Scarecrow just don't cut it. I love the way his face lights up and his intense concentration on my wiggling fingers.
His fascination with fingers extends a little further... he'll carefully examine my fingers before selecting the one he wants to chew. He'll grab different ones on different occassions, so I'm not sure what the criteria is.
He likes to play cute. He tips his head over to the side when looking at you, gives a big grin, then often leans over the other way. Just getting a different perspective on things, I guess :)
Cooper likes to dance. He sits there bobbing his head up and down. The ironic part is that he often stops dancing if music starts as he is busy listening to the music, lol. I guess he dances to the tune in his own head.
Cooper is fascinated with fingers. He loves Twinkle Twinkle and 5 Little Ducks, and sooks when I get to the end of the song. Songs such as Dingle Dangle Scarecrow just don't cut it. I love the way his face lights up and his intense concentration on my wiggling fingers.
His fascination with fingers extends a little further... he'll carefully examine my fingers before selecting the one he wants to chew. He'll grab different ones on different occassions, so I'm not sure what the criteria is.
He likes to play cute. He tips his head over to the side when looking at you, gives a big grin, then often leans over the other way. Just getting a different perspective on things, I guess :)
Cooper likes to dance. He sits there bobbing his head up and down. The ironic part is that he often stops dancing if music starts as he is busy listening to the music, lol. I guess he dances to the tune in his own head.
Repetition
Feed baby. Baby does something cute. Squeeze baby while spinning around. Get covered in vomit. Make mental note.
Half an hour later... Baby does something cute. Squeeze baby...
Lucky I was still wearing the same grotty clothes!
Half an hour later... Baby does something cute. Squeeze baby...
Lucky I was still wearing the same grotty clothes!
Wednesday, 11 January 2012
Toothipegs yet Regressing
Cooper has his first little tooth! It cut through last Friday, at 6 1/2 months. No wonder poor little bubba was so miserable before New Years... sick and with a sore mouth!
On the one hand, I'm quite excited about his tooth, on the other hand, a bit apprehensive. It now can hurt a bit when he chews my finger, and I'm worried about what else he might bite! Although he has never taken a bottle, just this week, we've discovered that he likes drinking water from a sippy cup. Wohoo! I'm thinking that it'll only take one bite and he'll be getting used to the taste of formula in his sippy cup, lol.
I'm not sure if it's the teething, but Cooper seems to be regressing back to his little baby clinginess. Wants to be held, cuddled, touched all the time. Wants to be on the boob all the time. Refuses a dummy. Back in our bed most of the night as he doesn't sleep long on his own. After just a fifteen min sleep in his bed the other night, I brought him back into bed with me... he lay there holding my hand as he slept. Aaawww, so cute! But also just a little annoying. I want my bed space back! Hope his little mouth stops hurting soon.
On the one hand, I'm quite excited about his tooth, on the other hand, a bit apprehensive. It now can hurt a bit when he chews my finger, and I'm worried about what else he might bite! Although he has never taken a bottle, just this week, we've discovered that he likes drinking water from a sippy cup. Wohoo! I'm thinking that it'll only take one bite and he'll be getting used to the taste of formula in his sippy cup, lol.
I'm not sure if it's the teething, but Cooper seems to be regressing back to his little baby clinginess. Wants to be held, cuddled, touched all the time. Wants to be on the boob all the time. Refuses a dummy. Back in our bed most of the night as he doesn't sleep long on his own. After just a fifteen min sleep in his bed the other night, I brought him back into bed with me... he lay there holding my hand as he slept. Aaawww, so cute! But also just a little annoying. I want my bed space back! Hope his little mouth stops hurting soon.
Wednesday, 4 January 2012
Clothing
Oh the dilemma of clothing!! Hands up those who've tried to find something to wear to a wedding while breastfeeding? Is it just me, or is it really hard?!
Factors to consider:
The other clothing issue I've been facing is that of Cooper's clothes. We have been so blessed with many, many hand-me-downs; some really gorgeous little clothes and jumpsuits. I get quite attached to clothing, and it kills me that he has grown so much and I've had to put away so many little things that I love.
He has been wearing size 00 clothes and 0 jumpsuits, but I got to the point where I decided: if your baby cries when you try to put his pants on, it really is time to pack away that size clothing. So sad. So very, very sad. Particularly as the 0 jumpsuits are plentiful and perfect for summer, and the 00 clothes have some good matches to the jumpsuits.
But tidy away I did. His room is much tidier now, with just clothes that he can wear out. And, it turns out that Cooper will be sure to be nice and warm this summer! Seriously... gazillions of jumpers and long-sleeved shirts and 2 (yes, TWO) short-sleeved body suits and 3 t-shirts, lol. Lucky we live in cold old Ballarat!
Nah, but some of the 0 jumpsuits still fit, and to be honest, it is quite exciting to actually go and buy him some clothes, not because I'm wasting money, but because he actually needs some. I'm grateful not to have needed to up til now, especially while I was working out what sort of baby clothes I like him to wear. But now it is fun. Jason and I even went shopping together yesterday. :)
It does freak me out a little though, that my 6 month old baby fits into size 1 jumpsuits!
Factors to consider:
- is it possible to get my boob out without taking the entire dress off? And preferably without having to unzip, etc?
- can I wear a maternity bra under it? (FYI, strapless maternity bras do not exist.)
- is it big enough to fit over my new 'mamma body'? (hips requiring a 'Wide Load' warning, enlarged boobs... that eliminates most of my existing wardrobe.)
- is it a fabric suitable to hide my jelly belly and other lumps and bumps? (ie, the stretch fabric that would work well for feeding doesn't work so well for photographs.)
- is it $175 (on sale) for a dress that I may only wear once or twice again? (Not a great time of year to be shelling out lots of $$)
The other clothing issue I've been facing is that of Cooper's clothes. We have been so blessed with many, many hand-me-downs; some really gorgeous little clothes and jumpsuits. I get quite attached to clothing, and it kills me that he has grown so much and I've had to put away so many little things that I love.
He has been wearing size 00 clothes and 0 jumpsuits, but I got to the point where I decided: if your baby cries when you try to put his pants on, it really is time to pack away that size clothing. So sad. So very, very sad. Particularly as the 0 jumpsuits are plentiful and perfect for summer, and the 00 clothes have some good matches to the jumpsuits.
But tidy away I did. His room is much tidier now, with just clothes that he can wear out. And, it turns out that Cooper will be sure to be nice and warm this summer! Seriously... gazillions of jumpers and long-sleeved shirts and 2 (yes, TWO) short-sleeved body suits and 3 t-shirts, lol. Lucky we live in cold old Ballarat!
Nah, but some of the 0 jumpsuits still fit, and to be honest, it is quite exciting to actually go and buy him some clothes, not because I'm wasting money, but because he actually needs some. I'm grateful not to have needed to up til now, especially while I was working out what sort of baby clothes I like him to wear. But now it is fun. Jason and I even went shopping together yesterday. :)
It does freak me out a little though, that my 6 month old baby fits into size 1 jumpsuits!
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