Haha, if only! Don't worry, I know that it will take quite some time for my body to shrink back down to size, if in fact it ever does. I'm not really stressed about it, honest, but my big thighs, flabby gut hanging over my trackies ('cuz they're about all I fit into) and my incredibly disproportionate boobs (the fake one hasn't kept pace with the milk dispensing one, obviously) do all make me feel less than glamourous. It does make me think a little bit about body image and the like.
Towards the start of my pregnancy, I cried when held up a cute little size 10 skirt and realised that I may never wear it again. I've heard people say all the stuff about how your kids make it worth it, and obviously nobody would trade their kids for a model's body. But I wondered, can you really feel confident and happy with your body if it doesn't ever go back into shape?
I think now, that maybe you are or aren't happy with your body, but it just doesn't really matter, because there is so much less time to think about it. Other more important things consume your energy. I plan Cooper's outfits before I plan my own. I often forget that I haven't looked in the mirror before I go out, as I've been so busy getting my little boy ready and out the door on time.
I also think that we are our own harshest critics. I've only weighed myself once since the birth, and I loved Jason's off-hand response when I told him how much I'd lost but how much I still had to go:
"You don't want to lose too much though... remember how you used to whinge about the cold all the time? A little insulation would be good."
I love that my "whinging" (I still maintain that commenting "gee, it's chilly tonight" or having your teeth chatter is not actually whinging!) obviously bothered him more than my flabby tummy. If it doesn't bother him, why should it bother me?
I've heard people say that you should be proud of your post-baby body... it shows that you've been a part of bringing a miracle into the world. A similar sentiment was expressed on Oprah today with regards to aging... "Ageing is a privilege, not a birthright". I love it... I am privileged to be alive long enough to grow wrinkles. I am privileged enough to be able to have a flabby baby tummy, when some can't.
Having said all that, I still have a little vain part of me that is hoping to fit back into my size 11 jeans one day!
Friday, 29 July 2011
Thursday, 28 July 2011
More firsts
The things we did for the first time today include:
- Playgroup
Cooper slept through the entire thing, but I enjoyed chatting to the other mums.
- Refuelling alone
My first visit to the petrol station with just me and Cooper. The dilemma... leave him in the car or take him in with me to pay?? I stressed about it all the way to the servo! When I finished refuelling, there was only one person in line to pay and my little fella was sound asleep, so rather than drag him out in the cold, interrupting his sleep yet again, I just locked the car and ran in. He never even knew I left, there were no fires, and noone stole or smashed into my car, so all good! What do other mums do?
- Supermarket without a pram
Second ever visit to the supermarket with a baby, first one driving there instead of walking with the pram. I parked my car right next to a trolley return bay, even though it was a little walk to the supermarket. Armed with my baby, a cosy blanket to put in the baby part of the trolley, my green bag, purse and shopping list, I optimistically charged in. Only to get stumped at the trolley bay... no baby trolleys!! Aaahhh, what now??
I looked at my list, decided I diddn't need too much and that the easiest option would be to just keep carrying him and load up my green bag as I went. We managed it, but it felt like a long walk by the time we made it back to the car and my arms were quite tired. I think walking the whole way there with the pram was actually easier!
- Playgroup
Cooper slept through the entire thing, but I enjoyed chatting to the other mums.
- Refuelling alone
My first visit to the petrol station with just me and Cooper. The dilemma... leave him in the car or take him in with me to pay?? I stressed about it all the way to the servo! When I finished refuelling, there was only one person in line to pay and my little fella was sound asleep, so rather than drag him out in the cold, interrupting his sleep yet again, I just locked the car and ran in. He never even knew I left, there were no fires, and noone stole or smashed into my car, so all good! What do other mums do?
- Supermarket without a pram
Second ever visit to the supermarket with a baby, first one driving there instead of walking with the pram. I parked my car right next to a trolley return bay, even though it was a little walk to the supermarket. Armed with my baby, a cosy blanket to put in the baby part of the trolley, my green bag, purse and shopping list, I optimistically charged in. Only to get stumped at the trolley bay... no baby trolleys!! Aaahhh, what now??
I looked at my list, decided I diddn't need too much and that the easiest option would be to just keep carrying him and load up my green bag as I went. We managed it, but it felt like a long walk by the time we made it back to the car and my arms were quite tired. I think walking the whole way there with the pram was actually easier!
Space, sweet space!
I love my baby boy, but I also love my space, especially when sleeping. Last night, Cooper slept in his own bed for just over 2 hrs, had a feed, then went back for another 1.5 hrs! Wohoo!
So what caused him to stay sleeping on his own? I think a large part of it was simply me being able to stay awake long enough after the feed to actually put him in his cot and stay there settling him! I also put him in a sleeping bag, beanie and mittens, thinking maybe he gets colder on his own. The huge bonus that he is taking his dummy a little also helped, as I could rub his tummy while he did his little comfort suck on his dummy, so he settled again after I put him down. Maybe some of these things helped? Will try them again tonight.
Next challenge: to see if I can get him to sleep for more than a 2hr stretch on his own. 'Cuz settling him twice was enough for me last night! Don't wanna be up every 1.5 to 2 hrs all night every night!
So what caused him to stay sleeping on his own? I think a large part of it was simply me being able to stay awake long enough after the feed to actually put him in his cot and stay there settling him! I also put him in a sleeping bag, beanie and mittens, thinking maybe he gets colder on his own. The huge bonus that he is taking his dummy a little also helped, as I could rub his tummy while he did his little comfort suck on his dummy, so he settled again after I put him down. Maybe some of these things helped? Will try them again tonight.
Next challenge: to see if I can get him to sleep for more than a 2hr stretch on his own. 'Cuz settling him twice was enough for me last night! Don't wanna be up every 1.5 to 2 hrs all night every night!
Tuesday, 26 July 2011
From day to day
It amazes me how much things can change from one day to the next.
Yesterday was kinda crap. A sooky baby and an unmotivated mum meant that nothing got done all day. Seriously, nothing. Well, I showered myself, changed nappies, fed and cuddled Cooper. That's it. Didn't even manage to cook tea - Jason did that when he got home. And boy, was I hanging out for him to get home!
Today, however, bubs is happy, and in addition to what I did yesterday, I have also bathed Cooper, done a load of laundry, made scones, walked to the Village (30min walk), done a little grocery shopping, met a friend for coffee and walked home again. Miracle upon miracle, Cooper is right now asleep on his own again (3rd time today!), although he is stiring, so I'm gonna get off my laptop quickly and go chop up some veggies! What a happy day!! :-D
Yesterday was kinda crap. A sooky baby and an unmotivated mum meant that nothing got done all day. Seriously, nothing. Well, I showered myself, changed nappies, fed and cuddled Cooper. That's it. Didn't even manage to cook tea - Jason did that when he got home. And boy, was I hanging out for him to get home!
Today, however, bubs is happy, and in addition to what I did yesterday, I have also bathed Cooper, done a load of laundry, made scones, walked to the Village (30min walk), done a little grocery shopping, met a friend for coffee and walked home again. Miracle upon miracle, Cooper is right now asleep on his own again (3rd time today!), although he is stiring, so I'm gonna get off my laptop quickly and go chop up some veggies! What a happy day!! :-D
Monday, 25 July 2011
I just want cuddles, Mummy!!!
Cooper and I were playing on his mat when he started getting tired and grizzly. Since we had two good sessions of sleep in the pram yesterday, I thought I'd try walking him to sleep in that rather than the usual feed or cuddle and rock or pace to sleep.
By the time we'd walked past 2 houses he was crying. It kept getting louder. I didn't even make it around the block before I caved and picked him up. Within seconds, he had stopped crying and was asleep moments later. I put him in his bouncer and am bouncing him, but he is wiggling around, in and out of sleep.
He is so tired. How long before the crying starts? Do I persist to try to get him to sleep by himself or do I cave and let him sleep on me? It's almost 3pm and he hasn't had his big sleep yet today, as I've kept trying to put him down. Ah, here come the tears... I cave... maybe a feed, then I'll try putting him down again.
By the time we'd walked past 2 houses he was crying. It kept getting louder. I didn't even make it around the block before I caved and picked him up. Within seconds, he had stopped crying and was asleep moments later. I put him in his bouncer and am bouncing him, but he is wiggling around, in and out of sleep.
He is so tired. How long before the crying starts? Do I persist to try to get him to sleep by himself or do I cave and let him sleep on me? It's almost 3pm and he hasn't had his big sleep yet today, as I've kept trying to put him down. Ah, here come the tears... I cave... maybe a feed, then I'll try putting him down again.
Flamin' routine!!!
It doesn't seem to take my body too long to get into a slightly new routine. In the past, I have found that to be useful in some ways (ie: if I always get up for work at 7am, pretty soon it doesn't matter if I forget to set the alarm as I'll wake then anyway) and not so useful in others (I find it immensely hard to sleep in on the weekend).
At the moment I am cursing my stupid body clock. Cooper has been enjoying his night-time playtimes. Last night however, was a little different. I went to bed just after 9:30, Cooper and Jase came around 12:30 but he didn't need a feed until a bit after 2am, so I got 4.5hrs solid sleep on my own - nice!! He had a super quick and quiet feed then was straight back to sleep again until 6:30am!!!! How awesome is that!
I, however, lay there wide awake, expecting playtime!! :( 3am came, 4am came, I turned the light on and did some Sudokus, yet still sleep eluded me. I did drift off eventually, and slept fitfully til the next feed. Grrrr. Here's hoping Cooper keeps that idea of going straight back to sleep after feeds and that I learn to follow suit again!
At the moment I am cursing my stupid body clock. Cooper has been enjoying his night-time playtimes. Last night however, was a little different. I went to bed just after 9:30, Cooper and Jase came around 12:30 but he didn't need a feed until a bit after 2am, so I got 4.5hrs solid sleep on my own - nice!! He had a super quick and quiet feed then was straight back to sleep again until 6:30am!!!! How awesome is that!
I, however, lay there wide awake, expecting playtime!! :( 3am came, 4am came, I turned the light on and did some Sudokus, yet still sleep eluded me. I did drift off eventually, and slept fitfully til the next feed. Grrrr. Here's hoping Cooper keeps that idea of going straight back to sleep after feeds and that I learn to follow suit again!
Precious Moments
My son loves cuddles. He likes to be held when he is awake, when playing and when asleep. I love giving him cuddles, but must admit that by the time the weekend comes, I'm happy to leave most of the cuddle-time for Dad. Yesterday I had the added bonus of him sleeping in his pram throughout church and while we went out for lunch too, although by then I was actually looking forward to him waking up so I could hold him.
We got home last night and he and I were lying down for a feed. He was quite unsettled, even though his nappy was clean. I thought maybe it was wind and sat him up for a burp. Nothing doing and he was thrashing around, so I pulled him in close and gave him a tight hug while still jiggling him around. Immediately he settled right down!
I lay him down in my arms so I could see him staring up at me with big, peaceful eyes while I hugged him. "Oh, did you just want some Mummy-cuddles did you?" I asked. He beamed a huge smile up at me. "You did!! I've missed Cooper-cuddles, too!" More smiles. The rest of the feed was postponed for ten or so minutes, while we shared cuddles and smiles, then he happily finished his feed without the fussing.
It's moments like these that make it all worthwhile!
We got home last night and he and I were lying down for a feed. He was quite unsettled, even though his nappy was clean. I thought maybe it was wind and sat him up for a burp. Nothing doing and he was thrashing around, so I pulled him in close and gave him a tight hug while still jiggling him around. Immediately he settled right down!
I lay him down in my arms so I could see him staring up at me with big, peaceful eyes while I hugged him. "Oh, did you just want some Mummy-cuddles did you?" I asked. He beamed a huge smile up at me. "You did!! I've missed Cooper-cuddles, too!" More smiles. The rest of the feed was postponed for ten or so minutes, while we shared cuddles and smiles, then he happily finished his feed without the fussing.
It's moments like these that make it all worthwhile!
Sunday, 24 July 2011
Routine??
I've heard that kids are ever-changing and routine can be very hard to come by. As soon as you think you have routine, they'll enter a new stage of life and everything will change again.
I was very excited a few days ago to look at my days and see the start of some sort of routine that looked something like this:
2:30am - feed
6:30am - feed, shower/bath, quick feed, quick nap while mum has brekky
10:30am - feed and big sleep
2:30 to 8:00pm - feeds every 1 to 2 hrs, interspersed with naps and playtimes.
8:00pm - feed and sleep on the couch with mum
11:00pm - feed and bed with mum and dad
I was quite excited! I was basically getting two 3hr sleeps in bed, combined with a good nap on the couch after tea most nights which was enough to feel good. We were both showered, dressed and breakfasted by around 10am and I had a patch of time late morning/early arvo to get stuff done around the house. I was thinking, Nice, hope it lasts!!
It didn't. Well, it still isn't too bad really, but things have adjusted a bit, so that we have a nighttime feed around 3:30 or 4am, followed by a 2 hr awake time!! Oh no!! Thank goodness he has learnt to smile, so that redeems him a little. But I still get quite bored by 6am, as I refuse to get out of bed at the unearthly hour of 4am, so our playing must be done there.
I sometimes have to wake Jase up around 5:30 to play with us... I love how he is so happy to get the smiles from Cooper that he actually enjoys the play in spite of the hour. It reminds me to enjoy every moment that I can. I can always vacuum or sleep another day! It reminds me of a poem I once read, but I only remember the end:
So hush now cobwebs,
Dust go to sleep,
Because I'm rocking my baby
And babies don't keep.
I was very excited a few days ago to look at my days and see the start of some sort of routine that looked something like this:
2:30am - feed
6:30am - feed, shower/bath, quick feed, quick nap while mum has brekky
10:30am - feed and big sleep
2:30 to 8:00pm - feeds every 1 to 2 hrs, interspersed with naps and playtimes.
8:00pm - feed and sleep on the couch with mum
11:00pm - feed and bed with mum and dad
I was quite excited! I was basically getting two 3hr sleeps in bed, combined with a good nap on the couch after tea most nights which was enough to feel good. We were both showered, dressed and breakfasted by around 10am and I had a patch of time late morning/early arvo to get stuff done around the house. I was thinking, Nice, hope it lasts!!
It didn't. Well, it still isn't too bad really, but things have adjusted a bit, so that we have a nighttime feed around 3:30 or 4am, followed by a 2 hr awake time!! Oh no!! Thank goodness he has learnt to smile, so that redeems him a little. But I still get quite bored by 6am, as I refuse to get out of bed at the unearthly hour of 4am, so our playing must be done there.
I sometimes have to wake Jase up around 5:30 to play with us... I love how he is so happy to get the smiles from Cooper that he actually enjoys the play in spite of the hour. It reminds me to enjoy every moment that I can. I can always vacuum or sleep another day! It reminds me of a poem I once read, but I only remember the end:
So hush now cobwebs,
Dust go to sleep,
Because I'm rocking my baby
And babies don't keep.
Tuesday, 19 July 2011
Playtime
Cooper has started smiling!! I was pulling faces at him a few days ago, and he started doing big smiles! The next evening he smiled while Jason was playing with him, so I knew it wasn't my imagination. SO cute! And the most thrilling thing, to see him actually responding to play.
We put him under a play mat with dangly things to bat and look at. I know it is still purely accidental collisions as he waves his arms around at this stage, but it is so much fun to watch him watching the swinging toys and smiling at them!
I like playtime now! :-D
We put him under a play mat with dangly things to bat and look at. I know it is still purely accidental collisions as he waves his arms around at this stage, but it is so much fun to watch him watching the swinging toys and smiling at them!
I like playtime now! :-D
Wednesday, 13 July 2011
Is there a point to bathing?
This morning Cooper and I had our first shower together since being out of the womb. Was a bit tricky working out the logistics on my own, but we got there. Cooper thought it was pretty good...being able to have a feed while being under the nice warm water!
Right after getting out, however, he peed on himself, followed by a little chuck. I had to wonder if the wash had actually been worth it, lol.
On the sleeping matter, we have basically succumbed to co-sleeping. Jason took first shift last night, with Cooper sleeping on his chest from about 11 to 2:15. Great sleep for me! Then after feeding and changing, he slept on me for another about 3 hours. Not the most comfy way to sleep, but at least we get sleep!! :-D
Right after getting out, however, he peed on himself, followed by a little chuck. I had to wonder if the wash had actually been worth it, lol.
On the sleeping matter, we have basically succumbed to co-sleeping. Jason took first shift last night, with Cooper sleeping on his chest from about 11 to 2:15. Great sleep for me! Then after feeding and changing, he slept on me for another about 3 hours. Not the most comfy way to sleep, but at least we get sleep!! :-D
Tuesday, 12 July 2011
Getting big!
Our little baby is changing every day! He is so much more alert each day and is getting better at looking around and following movement. So adorable. I love his big, dark eyes.
On a less exciting note, he still won't take a dummy, but is liking to suck. At times he'll sit on my boob for over an hour, sucking happily away, even though there is no more milk coming out, before I pull him off to give my poor boob a rest. Gonna go dummy shopping tomorrow to see if I can find a different brand/style that he might like better.
On a less exciting note, he still won't take a dummy, but is liking to suck. At times he'll sit on my boob for over an hour, sucking happily away, even though there is no more milk coming out, before I pull him off to give my poor boob a rest. Gonna go dummy shopping tomorrow to see if I can find a different brand/style that he might like better.
Communicating
I have not yet learnt the 'different' cries that people assure me exist nor what they mean. I thought I understood Cooper fairly well this morning though. He had choked on milk again so I sat him up to burp him. He started leaning back really hard, grunting with the effort. Fairly clear communication meaning "Not time for burps; more milk please, Mum" right? I lay him back down, pulled him in close for a feed, and what did he do? A little burp and chuck on my tummy, lol. I guess he was just sick of using spew rags.
Monday, 11 July 2011
Where's Daddy??
Jason had to go back to work today :-( Don't know if Cooper has actually noticed or not, but I have. 'Twas so nice to have him home for a couple weeks... he has been great with Cooper and I've enjoyed doing things as a team.
We had our first bath at home without Dad this morning. Cooper thoroughly enjoyed it, but not so much the getting out bit. He was so cranky about being taken out that he didn't appreciate the fact that his nappy, singlet, socks and spew rag all match his jumpsuit today. Or maybe he just didn't like the green and white colour scheme.
We had our first bath at home without Dad this morning. Cooper thoroughly enjoyed it, but not so much the getting out bit. He was so cranky about being taken out that he didn't appreciate the fact that his nappy, singlet, socks and spew rag all match his jumpsuit today. Or maybe he just didn't like the green and white colour scheme.
Wednesday, 6 July 2011
Has my milk gone sour??
*sigh* I thought we were doing so well with the breastfeeding - really getting the hang of latching on quickly and staying on for most of the feed. But the last 24hrs have been much harder work... lots of tears (Cooper, not me) and real trouble getting him on. He seems quite distressed about something.
I wait until he asks for food mostly, and feeds have been well-spaced, so I'm sure he's hungry. I've been careful to hold him the way we've had most success in the past and tried to make sure he's comfy/warm/not too hot/etc. There's no poo in his pants. I don't think I've eaten anything odd. There is definitely milk supply, as the initial suck followed by crying makes it drip out all over his face when he pulls away.
So what is it? Has my milk gone sour? Is he getting bored with this flavour? Maybe strawberry or chocolate milk would be preferrable?
I guess they say to give it 6 weeks to get the hang of breastfeeding and we've had just under 2. I'm sure we'll have patches of both good and poor feeding over the coming weeks.
I wait until he asks for food mostly, and feeds have been well-spaced, so I'm sure he's hungry. I've been careful to hold him the way we've had most success in the past and tried to make sure he's comfy/warm/not too hot/etc. There's no poo in his pants. I don't think I've eaten anything odd. There is definitely milk supply, as the initial suck followed by crying makes it drip out all over his face when he pulls away.
So what is it? Has my milk gone sour? Is he getting bored with this flavour? Maybe strawberry or chocolate milk would be preferrable?
I guess they say to give it 6 weeks to get the hang of breastfeeding and we've had just under 2. I'm sure we'll have patches of both good and poor feeding over the coming weeks.
Tuesday, 5 July 2011
To sleep or not to sleep...
So, we've been having a bit of trouble with the little man being happy to sleep during the day, but not so much at night. We've resorted to co-sleeping a number of times, but really aren't keen on it - not only do we get poor sleep for fear of squashing or smothering him, but we also don't want to create any habits we'll have trouble breaking later.
Last night, I figured he was quite happy in his basinet during the day, so maybe the deterent was somehow the bedroom. I settled him in the basinet in the lounge and got ready for a good sleep on the couch. Cooper's response? 'I'm not that dumb, Mum, I know it's nighttime! And the only way I'm gonna stay settled is if my mouth is over your boob so that I can have a suck any time I stir.' I caved, and we went to bed with him snuggled next to me.
Thankfully, when Daddy got home a couple hours later, he did just a little pacing and Cooper settled IN HIS BASINET and slept for about 2 1/2 hrs there! We had a big feed at 2am, then he went back to his basinet for almost another 3 hours! So happy! If we can do that every night, plus I can sneak in a nap or two during the day, I'll be happy as!
Question though... how is Cooper smart enough to know night from day, but struggles to distinguish between nipple and his own fingers?? SO cute to see his devastated little face when he gets his fingers in the way, sucks furiously and is so disappointed when no milk comes! lol!
Last night, I figured he was quite happy in his basinet during the day, so maybe the deterent was somehow the bedroom. I settled him in the basinet in the lounge and got ready for a good sleep on the couch. Cooper's response? 'I'm not that dumb, Mum, I know it's nighttime! And the only way I'm gonna stay settled is if my mouth is over your boob so that I can have a suck any time I stir.' I caved, and we went to bed with him snuggled next to me.
Thankfully, when Daddy got home a couple hours later, he did just a little pacing and Cooper settled IN HIS BASINET and slept for about 2 1/2 hrs there! We had a big feed at 2am, then he went back to his basinet for almost another 3 hours! So happy! If we can do that every night, plus I can sneak in a nap or two during the day, I'll be happy as!
Question though... how is Cooper smart enough to know night from day, but struggles to distinguish between nipple and his own fingers?? SO cute to see his devastated little face when he gets his fingers in the way, sucks furiously and is so disappointed when no milk comes! lol!
Monday, 4 July 2011
Firsts
Well, Jason scored the first free willy wee, but I just got the first projectile vomit! All over my jumper sleeve, down my shirt and bra, and running on to my trackies... ew!
On the upside, I'm getting the hang of 'snappies' with the cloth prefold nappies and finding them very effective. I normally just leave Cooper in his PJs until he wees or poos on his clothes, and here it is, almost 5pm, and he is still in his jammies! Yay for cloth nappies seeming to reduce the number of cuddle rugs and jumpsuits in the wash! Think I'm gonna try the cloth ones overnight tonight.
On the upside, I'm getting the hang of 'snappies' with the cloth prefold nappies and finding them very effective. I normally just leave Cooper in his PJs until he wees or poos on his clothes, and here it is, almost 5pm, and he is still in his jammies! Yay for cloth nappies seeming to reduce the number of cuddle rugs and jumpsuits in the wash! Think I'm gonna try the cloth ones overnight tonight.
These are a few of my favourite things...
- Cuddling my sooky baby at 5am, wishing he would go down in his own bed. But then suddenly realising that it doesn't get much more wonderful than this... snuggles in bed with my adorable little one, my amazing husband snoozing beside me and the sound of the rain pouring down on the carport roof... bliss!
- Seeing rows of tiny jumpsuits, singlets, etc flapping on the clothesline.
- When I hold the spew rag under Cooper's chin to burp him and he burrows his face down into it and wraps both arms tightly around my hand.
- Watching Jason just laugh when he gets peed or spewed on and how he picks Cooper up when he's hollering and Cooper snuggles into his neck and settles... love how much they love each other.
- The huge array of faces Cooper pulls - all so unintentional and yet so adorable.
- Seeing rows of tiny jumpsuits, singlets, etc flapping on the clothesline.
- When I hold the spew rag under Cooper's chin to burp him and he burrows his face down into it and wraps both arms tightly around my hand.
- Watching Jason just laugh when he gets peed or spewed on and how he picks Cooper up when he's hollering and Cooper snuggles into his neck and settles... love how much they love each other.
- The huge array of faces Cooper pulls - all so unintentional and yet so adorable.
Cooper is here!!
Cooper has arrived and everything is so new and exciting and too cute for words! I just want to talk about him all day long! But since most people won't want to hear about him all day long, I'll use this space to record my memories and favourite moments. Read if you like, ignore if you want, no offense taken - it is more for me than anyone else anyway. :-)
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